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When reports emerged that a prominent couple had been killed and their son, Nick Reiner, was a possible suspect, it brought addiction back into the public spotlight. However, families affected by a loved one’s addiction fear the dialogue will center on an extremely uncommon act of homicide rather than the more widespread dangers of the disease.

A Personal Connection

Ron Grover and his wife, Darlene, have been watching the developments. They only knew the Reiners by their work, yet they feel a connection: their own son also became addicted at 15 to opioids and later illicit drugs, similar to Nick Reiner, and spent years cycling through rehabilitation and the legal system. After seven excruciating years, their son got sober in July 2010.

“It’s just devastating,” states Grover. “It rips your heart out, because that’s a family destroyed, just like so many other families we know whose sons or daughters succumbed to the disease of addiction.”

Understanding the Epidemic

More than a significant majority of Americans report their lives have been touched by addiction—whether through their own use, a relative’s addiction, homelessness due to addiction, or an overdose leading to medical care or death, according to 2023 data.

Approximately 16.8% of Americans, or 48.4 million people, had a substance use disorder in 2024.

“This can happen to anyone, no matter how rich you are, no matter how disadvantaged you are, no matter how powerful you are,” stated Grover.

Fear of Stigma

The Reiner story resonated deeply with Greg, who leads a parent organization. “We talk a lot about how it’s a condition that affects the whole family,” Greg said. “It has a tremendous impact on others’ lives.”

However, he is concerned that the murders will make people “deeply suspicious of anybody who’s struggles with having an addiction, and think that they could become dangerous at any point in time. And that’s not true,” Greg noted.

These “are really crucial discussions to have, since addiction is so widespread in the United States and the rates have continually increased,” stated an academic researcher who studies addiction and the legal system. She pointed to the significant social prejudice surrounding addiction and mental health in the U.S., including the “perception of someone being really dangerous and the potential for harming others.”

She also cautioned against making assumptions about the alleged role of the son or his state at the time, noting it is not known whether substance use or mental health issues were involved recently.

“I’m afraid that people are going to take their biased views of addiction and substance use disorder, and create a narrative to try to make sense of what happened,” she said. “Because of his past, the first thing that everyone is talking about is his addiction.”

Separating Myth from Fact

While addiction can lead to erratic actions, and some substances may lead to agitation, a brutal act like a murder of two people is highly unusual.

“The vast majority of people with addiction or substance use disorder do not ever show anything remotely close to aggression. It’s a real rarity,” the expert explained. “The actual reality is a person is significantly more likely to hurt themselves than anyone else.”

A Parent’s Fear

Both Greg and Grover have lived with fear—not directed at their sons, but for them.

“I’m afraid he’s going to die at some point,” Greg said. “If he relapses, it’s eventually going to kill him. That’s my greatest terror. And my other fear is just being cut off from him.” He described the agonizing decisions parents face, such as setting boundaries and sometimes making the “excruciating” choice that an adult child cannot reside in the family home.

“Our fear then was, every single night you laid your head down, that you could get a phone call or that knock on the door telling you that he was never coming home,” said Grover. Those fears are present “every single day, 365 days a year, for a parent.”

He recounted the terrifying calls: from the hospital saying a son was not breathing; from prison, where a parent might rationalize behavior by thinking, “ ‘Well, at least he committed theft to support his habit; at least he wasn’t breaking into the neighbors’ houses.’”

The Loneliness of the Struggle

Parents often battle loneliness—wondering if the addiction was caused by some parental failure; feeling responsible for a child’s actions; and dreading judgment from others directed at both parent and child.

It is extremely challenging to understand a family’s ordeal without experiencing it personally, Greg noted. “With addiction, it can shift instantly. You could be content one day and miserable the next... It’s not unusual for that to happen.”

The Path Forward

Data indicates about 75% of people with addiction are able to become sober.

“Just as you can get over any other type of disease, you can overcome this disease, too. You can recover and be productive,” said Grover. “If you work at it and you stumble, you get up and work at it some more.”

Today, his son is a married with children, holds a college degree, and works as a skilled tradesperson. Grover reflected on his struggle to “fix” his son, realizing it wasn’t possible.

“I can push him into recovery if I want to, but if he doesn’t reach for my hand for help, it’s not going to work,” he said.

Yet, they always reiterated they cared for him and believed in him.

“I tell any parent or anybody else that’s dealing with someone addicted to drugs: make sure your hand is always, always outstretched, because you never know when they’ll reach out and take it.”